Im really sorry ladies for not writing as much. I haven't been home at all lately. But I lost 10 pounds from my little weight loss thing. And keeping it off. Im going to do that again and try to loose another 10 or so. I am still really sick and what i had wasnt strep throat. My white blood cell count is extremly high. higher than it would be for strep throat, and even mono. Whatever my body is trying to fight off is bad, and could even be cancer. I have to go get my blood taking so they can look at my cells again. This whole damn month ive been so tired and sick. I don't think I can take it any longer. but i hope all of you are doing well. hopefully  ill be writing more often.

<3

For the past week and a half, ive been eating every 24 hours....id wait 24 hours then id eat a sandwich or something. im loosing so much weight its so crazy. im really sick right now though, i have strep throat...it sucks so bad. i hope all you ladies are doing great.

I woke up at 9 today, to get my hair done......My long locks got a few inches cut off, I have bangs again (I haven't had bangs since i was fourteen years old) And I got Golden Highlights. EVERYONE loves it.........but me. I hate it. I love my hair long. I realized I also hate bangs. And I hate highlights. I want my hair Dark Brown. So I lighten it up?.......I seriously make no sence. But It took them SIX hours to do my hair. I was dying of boredom...but whatever.... Anyways Im almost done with Eclipse, and i bought Breaking Dawn earlier today. My mom spent $120 on my hair, and waxing my eyebrowns. then another $20 for my book. She never buys  me anything anymore so it was great haha. And I didnt even eat anything until 3 thirty. But it was arbys. I ate mozerella sticks and curly fries. and i got a strawberry coolata at dunken donuts. I have a feeling ill be putting on a few pounds after today. But Other than eating at 3, ive only ate two sugar cookies a few hours ago. Thats all i ate. not GOOD things, but, I dont think i over did it TOO much. ? I hope.
I hope you all are doing good. <3

So I ve been vegetarian for four days now. hahahaha. Such a long time I KNOW! pffshaha. but peta2 sent me a dvd of my favorite animals head getting bashed in. Now its all i think about. I browse their websites, reading all these horrifying things. And Ive already lost five pounds, so im not complaining. They sent me a whole bunch of stuff on what to buy and recipies. And even cute stickers. And i watched some interviews from some of my favorite bands....like matt skiba from alkaline trio. Or Oliver Sykes from Bring me the horizon....It just influnces' me that much more. And theres so many of them, like john joseph from sick of it all/blood clot. And if you read the book Skinny Bitch, it opens your eyes so much. But enough of that speach, im just letting you know i feel better ALREADY and Ive lost five pounds. And i havent even been working out at all. But i need to do that soon, im just addicted to the twlight series and im always reading. Im on Eclipse right now. And i still haven't watched the damn movie. But Notorious Big was good, but thats beause i jam out to biggiesmalls constantly. I hope all of you ladies are doing well, and stay strong<3

i ate three cookies and drank some hot tea. then i went tanning, and listened to sad songs. i came home and it was raining, i stood there, face up, eyes closed, letting the raindrops soak me for it seems like forever, and i didnt want to move. i love moments like that. I felt as though i belonged right there, most of the time i feel like i dont belong anywhere. ever since chris and i broke up two years ago, I have not been the same. that and i got disgustingly fat. my friend kate told me if i didnt want to be fat that i didnt HAVE to be . and i was thinking about it, and thats true, but if ive never wanted to be fat, then why am i? I don't know.

Im starting to write in a regular notebook, but my notebook isnt support. So i do need you ladies, and you know you have me as well. So good luck.